Evergreen Times

This post is a hasty one in which I capture some thoughts before they can fleet away into the ether. I suppose it’s a bit like diary entry, written for myself rather than a reader – but if you are reading this, I hope you’ll find it amusing. Here’s what all the fuss is about.

I’ve become obsessed with grammar and punctuation. As a reader, I frequently experience that awful moment when one zooms in on an error and has a silent fit. From product labels to blog posts and passages in books, I spot errors even when I’m not looking for them. In a way, I miss the time when I could read without being critical of style, punctuation, spelling, and grammar.

I just read a fascinating post on the abandonment of cities throughout history. But there was a homonym error. “No!” I inwardly scream, “It’s ‘break’ not ‘brake!’ Proofread your post!”

I read a paragraph in a book that was full of breathy sentence fragments – and instead of finding them atmospheric, I seethed.

I read a label on a beverage bottle (see cover image) and spotted three errors. First up, they say: “Our range of ciders are.” The statement refers to a singular: “range,” and doesn’t work with “are.” Instead, they should use “is.”

There’s a punctuation error when they state their philosophy too. Apart from that, I find myself asking if one even uses a philosophy when making cider. This is a matter of opinion, however. I realise that many brands see themselves as being philosophical.

On top of these dreadful crimes there’s an unnecessary comma further on. It irritates me. It’s like a nasty little pimple. I can’t ignore it. “Couldn’t they have hired someone to proofread that?” I snort while quietly categorising the company as unprofessional even though I like their drink.

And then, I go back and read my own work, spotting things I see as style errors, pondering punctuation, and experiencing moments of utter self-loathing.

Then I wonder: “How much does any of this matter?” and come up with the inevitable conclusion that it doesn’t. At least, not much. As long as ideas are expressed comprehensibly, language has served its purpose.

I’m not going to say that dedication to correctness completely ruins the pleasure of writing or reading, but I do think it can be painful. And yes, I think it can put the brakes (not breaks) on creativity.

When I first overcame my aversion to using “and,” “or” and “but” at the start of sentences, I found it hugely liberating. I only avoided it because it was something I was taught when I was still in school. Then, I discovered that it isn’t an error at all. Sometimes, I think that I should go further, or at least be more forgiving of the “errors” of others.

After all, what is language for? It’s meant to be used for communication, and all the endless breaking down of clauses and sentence structures and punctuation is frankly unnatural. Does it limit creativity? Up to a point, I think it does.

Nevertheless, there’s something to be said for a focus on correctness. You might be facing readers like me. Will I buy that drink with the dreadfully wrong label again? I expect I will. It tasted great! But my impression of the company remains unchanged. They really should have shelled out a few dollars on editing that text before they printed thousands of labels peppered with nasty little errors.

I’m wrecked as a reader. Sometimes, I wish I wasn’t.