Evergreen Times

Are you caring for elders? It’s challenging, often traumatic, and hugely important, but it may be wise to avoid talking about it in your blog if you’re hoping to attract traffic. Why? Perhaps its because few things could be less glamorous and less lucrative. Mommy blogs, on the other hand, are far more popular. Why? I think I know the answer.

Why Being a Mommy is More Attractive Than Being a Carer

Let’s face it: being a mommy is attractive. It’s something many women aspire to – and it’s something that’s filled with hope. What will baby grow up to become? Will he or she realize their potential? How is Mommy making that possible? It’s an area that’s loaded with dreams, aspirations, and optimism.

Elder care? It’s a simple matter of trying to offer people living out their final days dignity, the best health possible, and perhaps a little happiness. Inevitably, it ends in a death rather than a life. The moment is not a reaching towards the future and a mommy-heroine riding off into the metaphorical sunset. It’s now, and it’s a messy moment that’s going to end badly.

In short, a mommy blog is going to beat an elder care blog almost any day of the week and few carers who write about their experiences will be exceptions to that rule. But there are several reasons why carers should relate their experiences beginning with…

Maybe it Will Help Somebody, Sometime

Caring for elders is tough. It’s harder than caring for babies and children. Little ones may be disruptive, but theoretically, you’re the adult and you have some degree of control and authority. You don’t have to engineer your interactions to make it seem like the kids have control.

With elders, you need to leave them with the feeling that you’re catering to their choices, their preferences, and their ideas. Kids, even difficult ones, have some inkling that you’re the source of authority.

But when you’re looking after the elderly, you have to hide the fact that you’re the real decision-maker. It takes tact. It takes patience. And when you do bulldoze them into doing what’s best for them, you have to think on your feet and somehow lead them to believe that it was their choice.

Hard? You bet. Lonely? Very often. Traumatic? For sure! And of course, much as you may love them, your elders simply aren’t as cute as children or babies. It lacks commercial appeal – and commercial appeal is what good blogs are made of.

At the same time, sharing your experiences might help someone who is in the same difficult position as you are right now. And if you help just one person in their elder-care mission, that’s a reward in itself – even if you never receive that affirmation directly.

Elder Care as Blog Topic: A Tough Job Lacking in Broad Appeal

Being a mom or dad is something that many people want. Caring for elders is something we may all wish someone other than ourselves will tackle. Whether it’s because of practical constraints; responsibility for a young family; reluctance to relinquish control over our lives; or the knowledge that end-of-life care ends in the death of one’s charges, it’s not something most of us want to do.

Necessity is one thing. Aspiration is another. This is the internet. The perfect life is something all people desire and the requirements for the ideal life make for good reading matter – even when the writer is faking it. Caring for elders is never an ideal situation, even when the things we make possible impart a fleeting happiness to the old folks.

Are you caring for elderly family members? I can guarantee that nobody else in your family wants the job. As for those outside your family, they want it even less unless they’re paid well for it.

Looking for a reason why your elder-care-related blog posts fail to attract a following? You just found it. No matter how much they may respect you for it, few people actually want to do what you’re doing.

Cute in Babies, Off-putting in Elders

Incontinence. Vomiting. Drool. Talking nonsense. When babies do it, it’s cute. When elders do it, its something to gloss over. Fair? Definitely not!

Popular culture tells us that a long life is desirable, but it doesn’t take these things, inevitable if you live long enough, into account. Worst of all, babies aren’t aware that things like incontinence are problematic. When they’re lucid, which they are more often than we may realize, elders are.

Baby fouled their nappy? Aw, cute! That’s what babies do. Covered in shit after sorting out a particularly nasty elder accident? Not so cute. That’s despite the fact that the CDC findings indicate that over half of people aged 65 and over experience some form of incontinence.

Raise the bar to 80, and you can expect that figure to rise. Long life plus dignity? It’s there for the lucky few – and it isn’t under their control. Carers can only mitigate the situation by reinforcing that it’s normal and not a problem. The elders know better. They definitely see the problem. They feel the loss of personal dignity.

Can a truly honest elder-care blog be good read? Not if you want to see the world through rose-colored glasses bearing in mind that you’re expecting to live to a ripe old age. And, of course, that’s what most us think we want to do.

We’re going to grow old gracefully. Yeah sure! Ageing isn’t for sissies. Accept the reality. Grace has little to do with it. Living to see another day does. One day, this will be you. Wanna read about it? I guess not!

An Ageing Population: Nobody Wants to Know

There have been a few writers who have managed to put a cute and funny spin on elder care. I envy them their patients. Growing old is neither cute nor funny unless your patients are in very good health. Caring for these people is stressful, even soul-destroying. And in the end, there is only an ending – not a beginning – except, perhaps, the beginning of your personal freedom.

Want to know the worst part? One day, we’ll all be there too – unless we are able to experience a rapid and merciful death. So, why would anyone want to read your blog on elder care? Most people wouldn’t. A day of happiness is not enough for those seeking stories of a lifetime of happiness. It exposes the realities you may face once you grow old.

Frankly, nobody wants to know, even though they probably should, and that’s why your elder care blogs don’t get the attention they deserve. Now you know.

Hats off to you for taking on the challenge. Be strong. You’ll need it! Nobody but you will ever understand what you went through in the process unless they have experienced it themselves or are experiencing it right now. In the latter instance, they probably don’t even have time to read your blog. In the former, it’s not what they want to remember.