Evergreen Times

Perhaps my own business’s slogan should be: “I write, you pay me.” or perhaps “Keeping you happy to make a profit.”  At least it would be refreshingly honest!

Of course, I could go mainstream with something like “Written just for you,” or  “The best: because you matter.” Sounds good? Awesome! I’ll put that on my logo!

So, what was that outburst all about? I’ll tell you!

We’re so programmed to accept jargon and meaningless statements, that before we know it, we’re making them too! There are few places where this is more apparent than in marketing or the creation of other texts that are intended to impress customers. It’s as if, having latched onto a few things we think a business should be, we forget to talk about what our businesses really are – and the resulting loss of authenticity is apparent to all but the least critical of readers. 

Sticking to tired old words and phrases that we’re parroting because we think they seem “professional,” “businesslike”, or (wince) “cutting edge” leads to the loss of a golden opportunity to tell the world what we really do well. By trying to impress, we fail to express what really makes our businesses stand out and what makes them unique. And, it has to be said, few businesses have succeeded in navigating the pitfalls of marketing language. 

The Unpalatable Truth

Have you ever read a business’s marketing copy and rolled your eyes because it doesn’t really say anything? Or perhaps you’ve had a little laugh at the expense of the company that came up with a particularly painful slogan? Do you sometimes feel that businesses are insulting your intelligence? 

The unpalatable truth is that most of what businesses say in their marketing is pure fluff with little substance to back it up, and the worst part of that is that your customers probably know it for what it is. 

Here are some of the words and phrases that give me that eye-roll moment and that, to my sorrow, I have used on the insistence of customers. 

“The Best”

It’s something that we say because we assume we’re writing for people who are reading with their brains switched off, and they’ll just swallow anything we tell them. There are so many businesses claiming to be “the best” or offering “the best” products and services, that most readers will ignore the sheer egotism of the statement. 

If you’re going to say your business is the best, you need evidence to back that statement up. And surely, it’s up to our customers to decide whether we fit that description – so we’re talking third-party evidence too. I know why people say that what they offer is the “best,” but that doesn’t mean that I have to like it. Admittedly, I’ve been in this game for a long time, and perhaps not everybody shares my disillusionment with what seems to me like an empty claim. 

Do I offer the best freelance writing services? I think they’re pretty good, but since I don’t even know what the work of the “best” freelancer in the world is like, and deciding who is the best is subjective, it’s not a claim I’d like to make. Maybe some of my customers think I’m the best freelance writer they’ve worked with, and I’m flattered, but that’s still not enough evidence on which to base that claim. 

“Innovative” 

There are times when businesses really deserve to be seen as innovative, but that poor, overworked word is all too often used in contexts that have nothing to do with innovation. When you see it, your next question should be: “Why?” 

Try it! The next time you see a business glibly offering “innovative solutions” ask for examples and decide for yourself whether they really use new, advanced, or original ideas. Simply making a mashup of existing concepts is not innovative. Remember: you’re looking for originality. 

“Solutions”

When people buy something, they’re doing it to solve a problem or because they have an unmet need or want. In this sense, just about any business offers solutions, and once again, the word is terribly overused. It’s frequently coupled with “innovative” for a double dose of cringe, at least, for those who frequently read and think about what they read. 

I’ve encountered more “logistics solutions,” “business solutions,” and even “seafood solutions” (I’m not kidding, and I never realised that seafood was such a problem) than you can shake a stick at. It’s not wrong to say that your business meets a need, but so do all other businesses. It doesn’t differentiate you.

By the way, I offer freelance writing solutions. Did that enthuse you? I’m guessing it didn’t, but it had to be worth a try. 

Should you use the word? My personal opinion is that you should only do so if the problem you solve is a particularly unusual and knotty one. 

“Creative”

Yes, yes, we’re all creative and special and unique. Show me a business that doesn’t think it’s entitled to use the word, and I’ll be somewhat surprised. Admittedly, “creative auto mechanics” might put me off a little. And “creative accounting” would make me run a mile. But, when there’s no cast-in-stone method for doing a thing correctly, you’re almost sure to see the word “creative” popping up along the way. I don’t think it really adds any value. 

It sounds rather nice in the right contexts, and that’s probably why it’s so overused. But “sounding nice” is less than what your business should be doing. Do you think that “creative” is a word that should only be applied when there’s evidence to back it up? I do. If you claim creativity and don’t follow up with proof, you’re just saying pretty words that mean nothing.

“Exceeding Customer Expectations”

Now for my personal favourite: “exceeding expectations.” Would it surprise you if I said I don’t want my expectations to be exceeded? 

I might not mind if I find out that a product I bought is actually better than I thought it would be, or that the business I bought it from offers better service than I expected, but like being “the best,” that’s for your customers to decide. Plus, modern marketing being what it is, “exceeding expectations” has an ominous ring to it. 

What do you expect when you buy a product? You expect reasonably good service, a smooth transaction, and a purchase that performs to expectation. If you have issues, you expect them to be addressed. Anything beyond that could imply costs you don’t want to cover: functionality you don’t need and didn’t want, or services you’ll never use and don’t really want to pay for. “Value-added services” fall into this category. Businesses can tell me the extras are free until they’re blue in the metaphorical face and I won’t be any happier. Nothing is free. Costs get worked into pricing. I’m not a fool.

Worst of all, there are businesses who think that “exceeding expectations” amounts to spamming your inbox with additional offers you might be interested in but probably aren’t, discount vouchers you don’t want, or automated messages asking if you’re happy with your purchase. If you’re not happy, you’ll tell them anyway. If you want to buy something else, you’ll do so without prompting.

Once again, I get why businesses do these things, and they might even work on a few people, but as a consumer, I’d rather have my expectations met than exceeded. Thanks very much. To my relief, most businesses that say they exceed expectations, don’t. 

Avoiding Cliches Can Be Hard – But You Probably Should Try

Having marketing copy that sounds just like other people’s makes your business boring. Most people won’t subtract any approval points for your business’s choice of cliched and often-illogical language – after all, they’re so used to it. But being original makes you get noticed. 

What you do once you’ve got your prospective customers’ attention is up to you. Perhaps you really will exceed their expectations (in a good way) and you might even leave them thinking that you’re the best: creative, innovative, and able to offer the best solutions. Ask them to put it in a review, because that’s where it belongs.