Evergreen Times

It can be quite disturbing. You’re with an elder, and they suddenly tell you they’ve seen something quite impossible. It could be something rather nice, or it could be upsetting. You look, but you don’t see anything out of the ordinary. What should you do?

Don’t Just Assume It’s Dementia

Your first reaction when an elder sees something that patently isn’t there may be to assume that he or she is exhibiting signs of dementia. You may be wrong. Remember that there’s a difference between sight and vision. When we look at something, our eyes send messages to the brain. The brain interprets what has been seen, and the result is vision.

Have you ever thought you saw something out of the corner of your eye only to discover it was something else altogether? Most of us probably have. Now, slow down the process a whole lot, and make allowances for poor eyesight. That’s what your elder may be experiencing, and if you try it in the moment, you might well “see” what they saw.

If you’re having trouble understanding this, try deliberately blurring your vision by removing your glasses or looking at the world through half-closed eyes. The branches of shrubs waving in the wind could look like people walking around in your garden. A red flower could become a magnificent exotic bird, and so on.

Never Tell Them That What They See Isn’t There

If you saw something that you were really, truly sure was there and people told you it wasn’t, how would you react? You’d likely be even more certain that you saw it. You’d feel offended that anyone could accuse you of seeing something that isn’t there. You’d feel misunderstood and maligned.

Dementia, medication-induced hallucinations, or not, no person wants to be told they’re acting crazy, no matter how nicely you try to do it. So, what should you do? the important thing is to remain their ally.

Try Very Hard to See What They See

Even hallucinations usually have some basis in reality. If they’re seeing something beautiful, simply agree. Why spoil their pleasure? You don’t have to lie. “Oh! I missed that! That’s so amazing!” is a great response.

But if, as it so often is, the visually distorted or imagined thing is upsetting, it’s time to agree while disagreeing. Ask where it is. Blur your vision. Try to see what they see, even if it’s only a hint.

“Wow! I thought for a moment I saw men with knives too! But now that I look carefully, I think it’s just the way the light shines off the neighbor’s roof. Look at it flash!”

By entering into their experience, you become an ally, not the person who is telling them that they are not “all there.” You’ll find that they often begin to see things as you do. You’ve provided reassurance without harming their dignity.

Take Them for a Closer Look

If you really can’t see anything that looks remotely like the thing your elder saw and can’t offer them an alternative suggestion, try taking them for a closer look.

“I don’t see it! Let’s go and investigate!”

On closer inspection, your elder is quite likely to see things differently. He or she may even tell you what led them to believe they saw a certain thing, or you could try suggesting it to them.

“Look at the red flowers against the clouds and the sunlight shining through! It sure looks like the houses across the way are ablaze!”

Remember That They May Just Be Right

For the sake of my portfolio, I’m trying not to use the first person, but this one warrants an explanation. One day, Mom-in-law saw men with knives in the road. We live in a nature reserve, and traffic down our road, pedestrian or otherwise, is extremely rare.

Yes. To my shame, I used the “light flashing off the roof” suggestion to calm her fears. It worked. But when, a few minutes later, I headed off in my car to grab a loaf of bread, guess what I saw?

One of my neighbors had hired men to chop vegetation away from the edge of the road. And there they were: big, muscular men wielding huge choppers, and attacking the encroaching bush with a will. I called home and told the carer: “There really are men with knives in the road, but they’re just chopping the bushes away from the road. Please tell mom she was right!”

Honesty is the best policy. Mom felt triumphant. I admitted my error. Team vision remains intact!

Consider Sensory Input Other Than the Eyes

If a person is feeling uncomfortable because of physical symptoms, they may experience things differently. For example, numbness of the extremities owing to poor blood circulation may lead to strange sensations. The brain may process this visually too.

For instance, numb fingers may feel like foreign objects, and the brain is happy to confirm this by providing a reason for it. With a notion already in mind, an elder may actually “see” the things they believe are the cause of their discomfort.

Perhaps they try to throw something into the bin even though they have nothing in their hands. Or they might start with a self-harming behavior: biting or pulling at the “foreign object” that is really part of their body.

Don’t just assume that they’re crazy. Try figuring it out. Look for ways to relieve the distressing sensation. At any age, the interconnection between sensation and vision can blur. What we feel is what we see.

Be Honest About Meds’ Side-Effects

There are some things that absolutely can’t have any roots in reality. Google your elder’s meds. You might be surprised by what you find. A great many chronic medications have hallucinations as a side effect.

If your elder’s strange visions can’t be explained away, and if they’re upsetting, you could try gently suggesting that a certain medication is known to cause hallucinations. Have the evidence at hand. Once again, you’re drawing a clear line between the person and the circumstance. You remain an ally. You may calm any fears they’re experiencing.

Make a doctor’s or specialist’s appointment if this happens. Medication schedules or doses may need adjustment.

OK So It’s Dementia and That’s Been Confirmed. What Now?

There are many ways to handle hallucinations when an elder you are close to experiences them. But whatever method you choose and whether they’re living with dementia or not, never directly contradict, no matter how “far gone” you think your elders may be.

They’re still human beings. Their experiences are very real to them. Telling them it’s not real makes you an adversary. Enter into the situation if you can, or seek an explanation. Whatever you do, remain an ally.

Never underestimate the value of dignity. Always use respect, admit that you may be wrong, even if you’re sure you aren’t, and handle the situation in the most positive way possible. Remember, this could be you someday! Do as you would be done by!